It’s official.

Not that I had to wait a few extra months for the letter of rejection.

Enough of the one sentence paragraphs. What this really means is something that I’ve been dreading for quite some time: the re-write. It isn’t the fact that my manuscript needs revision, but more so the fact I have to sit down and re-write 68,000 words I already spent energy writing. I’ve said before that I’m pretty lazy when it comes to things that aren’t my idea and this is pretty much one of them.

Of course I don’t want to re-write my book. Who the hell wants to relive 10 months of writing a novel? This guy, evidently.

So, in the spirit of keeping my New Years resolution to get something published by the end of the year . . . Oh yeah, I made a resolution to do that and didn’t tell you guys . . . I’ve added to my count-down timers all the applicable contests/deadlines that I could possibly submit something for to give me a reason to get my act together.

So I got a nice email this morning from the prospective literary agent, politely informing me that she did not feel the necessary spark of connection. C’est la vie.

The search continues with Larson Pomada Literary Agents so, I’ve updated my timer to reflect the 4 week turn-around.

I purchased a copy of Writer’s Digest and really began looking at everything that I could be doing to get my book on the market. It was a bit disappointing to find out that I probably need representation. Not because I don’t like the concept… believe me, having someone go to publishers and bat for me on my behalf is amazing. Not to mention the benefits of being able to submit to publishers at all (many only accept pitches from agents)… but because it’s another hoop to have to get through on my road to publication.

I’ve submitted a query to the Andrea Brown Literary Agency. I have 6 weeks before I hear anything so you know what that means: Another countdown timer. I’m excited about this one though. I’ve read the bio of the agent I’m trying to get, and I think we match perfectly… She, on the other hand, will have to think likewise.

Because of the time difference, I found out they weren’t interested on Wednesday. Naturally, I was a little disappointed, and to raise my own spirits I decided to submit my manuscript to them again so I could get some satisfaction out of knowing the editors had one more pointless submission to read before the end of the week.

I even considered doing it continuously every week until I got published elsewhere.

Anyhow. The irony is that after the second submission I got a confirmation email from Arena stating they received my submission. I never got a confirmation email the first time! Does this mean they didn’t get it the first time? I think they’re on to my plan for revenge and are turning it back on me.

Nevertheless, I guess we’ll see what happens the second time around.

All isn’t lost, I suppose. It’s not like they emailed me back and said, “Wow! That was the worst thing I have ever read. Perhaps you should stick with your day job because this crap made me want to rip the eyeballs out of my socket.” They’re just not interested. Which could mean any host of things.

They were looking for adult fiction, and mine blurs the line a bit with British-style humor.

My manuscript is also  a mere 68,000 words. Which is short for short stories.

Perhaps they don’t accept submissions out of country.

I’ll never know what it was. Oh well. C’est la vie. There are pleanty of other publishers in the sea.

They promise a fast turn around in that if I haven’t heard a word back by 5:30 PM, Thursday (9:30 PM Wednesday for me), then they don’t want it. Believe it or not, I find that good news. It’s nice to have some sort of confirmation back (good or bad) so quickly.

I realize that it is considered taboo to submit manuscripts to multiple publishers at the same time without a Literary Agent, but I didn’t read anything in either Allen and Unwin’s or Tor’s submission guidelines against such. Conversely, I have found the rule in the submission guidelines of many of the other publishers I’ve looked into. Regardless, I suspect it won’t matter much.

Also: I received confirmation that Tor recieved my manuscript in the mail! So I’ve begun the countdown timer to my notificaitons on the right. I’ll keep you updated.

1. Be interested in my book
2. Could possibly print my book
3. Accept unsolicited submissions

…I have found 3 that are most promising. Tor / Forge (an imprint of Macmillan) is the first. I took a peek at their submission guidelines and went about meeting them:

• First 3 chapters or 40-60 pages (10,000 word limit) in manuscript format (Courier New, 10 pt, double spaced, 1″ margins).
• 3-10 page synopsis, to include major plot elements, ending and character development.
• Cover letter with contact information, previous publications, and qualifications pertaining to the manuscript.
• Self addressed, stamped business envelope for reply.

And now I am pleased to announce I went to FedEx Kinkos this morning, printed everything and then stopped by the post office to send the submission package away.

I purchased a delivery confirmation too, so I will know when/if it arrives. Now I will have to wait 4-6 months for someone to get back to me.

I’ve already compiled a list of similar titles/authors/genres and their respective publishers to see what sort of people I’ll be dealing with. Unfortunately, the vast majority of them only accept submissions via literary agent. Fortunately though, there are a few still accepting unsolicited submissions (one in Australia!).

I got a second phone call from my old publisher asking me if I wanted to stay. Seriously? Because I hadn’t made it clear before. This time, the conversation didn’t last long. I said no, and informed her where to send the check. Period.

I had recently decided to self-publish my ‘book’ through a company in Pennsylvania. I use the term book lightly only because I’m a stubborn little man who refuses to bend to the market’s adamant proclamation that it is, in fact, a manuscript; not a book. Whatever. Further, I find it my responsibility to inform you the difference between a real publisher and a self publisher:

Real Publisher – Buys the rights to your Mook entirely, often by forwarding you what they would expect to make from it in the first year before they go and edit to their heart’s content. They could come to you and tell you to re-write, remove a character, change the ending, etc, but ultimately they say what happens to that Banuscript because you sold it. Of course, this doesn’t include the inane hours of convincing it would take you to have them even look at your Manuscrook — Nay, consider looking at your Boanuscrook.

Self Publisher – Doesn’t care about the content of the Mabooscrik because you are paying them to just throw it on the press. Why should they care what it is about if they’ve already made their money? Of course, this is a guarantee to get your Bookuscript on a shelf… Somewhere… But that’s just it: Who knows where? Who knows if it will be seen? Not you, that’s for sure.

Back to my story…

Well, I forked over some money and for a time it was good. My Boonuscript went through editing and was returned to me for approval. After the 17th typo, I gave up reading over their changes and sent an email explaining that I deserve a second edit (because my money only paid for one). They obliged and took nearly three weeks to edit a second time. After the corrections were returned to me, I found more typos.

At this point, I seriously considered what I was getting out of this process and came to the conclusion that it wasn’t much. So I sent a nasty-gram asking for my money back and that I would be taking my services elsewhere. Which brings us to this morning.

06:41 AM — Raul’s Bedroom — Oahu, Hawaii

The 80’s greeted me into the realm of the conscious with the post-punk, British favorite “I Melt with You” by Modern English that I tastefully have chosen for my ringtone. Groggy, I clamor to my dresser where my phone docks to my Bose speaker system (it makes a great alarm clock) to discover my former publisher is calling me.

I am greeted by a customer service representative that proceeds to try to convince me to stay with their company.

“Mr. H, I will personally supervise the next revision of your manuscript and make sure you are given free copies of your book when finished.”
“No, I had already made up my mind.”
“May I ask what made you come to your decision?”
“I kept finding errors in the editing process, and I would like to take my book a little more seriously.”
“But with a 3 to 4 month turn-around, we can get your book on a shelf guaranteed. You can’t get that from a traditional publisher.”
“But at least with a traditional publisher, I will have the comfort in knowing that I have a quality product on the shelf.”
“Mr. H, did you know that New York based publishing houses are experiencing downsizing and laying off employees due to the recession?”
“I have no doubt.”
“And that makes it incredibly difficult to publish a book?”

At this point, I was considering asking her if she was under the impression the publishing industry was going to crash entirely. If she was insinuating that no books are being published… amidst several questions, but instead I went for something else…

“Do you even have the statistics to support that statement?”
“Would you like me to look into it and email you?”
“No, don’t bother please. I had already made up my mind.”
“Mr. H, with the economy where it is, you won’t be able to find an agent let alone a publisher to take your manuscript.”
“I recognize how difficult the process is.”
“Our services will be able to get your manuscript out and seen. Your service representative acts as your personal agent…”
“But how can my book be taken seriously if it can’t even be edited correctly?”
“Give us another chance, Mr. H, I will oversee the process and ensure you get the extra copies we said we would provide you.”
“That guarantees nothing. The motivations between a self publisher and a traditional publisher are entirely different.”
“If you would allow us just one more chance, Mr. H, I promise you…”
“No, thank you. I have made my decision and I would like my refund.”

So there you have it. I’m off to grovel before as many publishers as possible to see if my Manbooscript will be picked up for print.

Wish me luck!